Small World

She seeks refuge in her bedroom 
A suffocating box of stilted air 
A curious place to hide, she knows  
But it is preferable to what is out there  

Out there are faces that mock, words that sting 
Comments that like sharp knives slide 
Through the enforced perpetually-jolly-exterior 
To all that is vulnerable inside 

Out there is judgement at every turn 
Not just people with minds that are too small 
But shoes and clothes and handbags that taunt 
“You must know you are too big for us all!” 

Furniture that creaks and threatens to break 
Billboards that condemn body mass 
Public spaces that are made for the skinny 
And scream at her “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” 

That there is much more to her than just fat doesn’t matter 
Such appeals don’t gain sympathy 
The corpulence is blocking their view of all that 
She must lose weight if she wants them to see 

The world both ignores and scrutinises her 
Finds ways to beat her down every day  
Hate rains upon her like lava 
To the shadows it drives her away 

She hides in her room but cannot escape 
The contempt, like sand, gets everywhere 
It pours in through her phone and TV 
She is no safer at home than out there 

So she pulls even further away from the world 
But finds it is too late for that 
As she looks at herself with those same scorn-filled eyes 
All she can see anymore is the fat 

The story behind the poem

This is the second of two poems published in the Coventry Positive Images Peace Festival 2018 anthology on the theme of safe spaces. You can read more about this here.