Would You Judge Her?

If she told you that...

As a child, 
When she saw a couple kissing on the television, 
The man's lips dancing along the woman's neck, 
She found herself feeling in a bit of a hurry 
To be all grown up and married 
So she could also be loved just like the lady on TV... 

As a teen, 
When friends giggled and eww-ed about all the gross things 
They would never do with their boyfriends, 
She thought that it served all those stupid boys right 
For not picking her to be their girlfriend, 
Because she would certainly not have been so inhibited... 

As a twenty-something, 
When she grabbed her first viable relationship with both hands 
She used up so much of her nerve just getting the guy 
She didn't have any left to get just what she wanted from him 
And defaulted to playing the pleaser until so late in the day, 
They had hit game over by the time her pluck recharged... 

Entering her thirties, 
Things got flirty and dirty and sometimes hurty, 
But what she thought was the positive power of reclaimed courage 
Was in fact the destructive force of vulnerability cloaked in confidence's clothing, 
And as she smashed through boundaries thinking she was in control 
She was actually shattering herself to smithereens... 

Now older and wiser, 
Although she has murdered herself from the neck down 
And rebuilt her walls so high and strong they function as a fortress 
And regularly repents and rues and self-flagellates just as one should do, 
She still sneakily regrets not having made more deposits 
In the euphemistic bank of memorable pleasures while she had the chance... 

Would you judge her?